1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
