can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
wow bdsm is so cute
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
