I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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