i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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