somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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