I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
