I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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