i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
