i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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