FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
