Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
