She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
