is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
