We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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