'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
