Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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