She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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