I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
