Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
