His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
