my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
