susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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