so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize