No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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