"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
