after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
