he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
