told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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