I am puke
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
