These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
