it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
