Who did Billy Mays play for?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
