ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize