just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
