And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
