i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
