Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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