New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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