That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
