Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
