You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
