in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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