their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
