how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize