Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
