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I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's always time for handjobs
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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