Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
