HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize