What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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