is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
