I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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