Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
