I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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