Pants 0. Shit 1.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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