So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
