i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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