He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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