Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
