Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
