I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize