Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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