Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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