he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize