when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
