i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
