I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize