I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
