Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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