i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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