Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
