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Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Operation Purity has been aborted
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
