but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
