My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
