whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
