is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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